DOGE: The $40 Million Government Improv Show
Where the firings are made up, the savings don’t matter, and AI is running the show!
If you ever wondered what would happen if a bunch of underqualified tech bros took over the U.S. government, slept in federal buildings like college freshmen, and started randomly deleting agencies using an AI search tool, congratulations—you’re living in it.
This is DOGE—the Department of Government Efficiency.
And it’s running the country like a half-baked startup pitch.
Government employees are being fired on impulse, only for DOGE to beg them to come back when they realize they actually needed them.
Essential programs are being slashed because the AI flagged the wrong words, with zero human review before hitting the “delete” button.
Musk’s hand-picked disruptors, supposedly working for free, are actually raking in six-figure salaries while sleeping on IKEA bunk beds in federal offices.
Billions in “savings” are entirely made up, with DOGE literally counting already-canceled or completed contracts and double-counted firings as wins.
If this weren’t real life, it would be an HBO satire—something between Veep, Silicon Valley, and Idiocracy.
But it is real life. And somehow, it’s worse.
The "Deep State" is Actually a Tech Bro Bachelor Pad
When Musk took over DOGE, the goal was supposedly government efficiency. Instead, it’s become a crash pad for Musk’s handpicked disruptors, most of whom are under 25 and have no experience in government.
The DOGE office now has IKEA beds, dressers, and a planned $25,000 washer and dryer because the team is apparently sleeping at the office. Imagine the piles of discarded fast food wrappers, pizza boxes, energy drink cans, and dirty laundry.
Musk’s inner circle—many of whom were recruited via Twitter DMs—is stacked with young tech bros, some straight out of college and others from failed startups.
Hiring was initially limited to paid Twitter subscribers, meaning if you weren’t already paying Musk, you weren’t even considered.
The people deciding the fate of billion-dollar agencies live like startups in WeWork offices—except they have the power to fire tens of thousands of government employees. Let’s hope they are springing for a weekly housekeeper.
The few qualified employees, all former Digital Services staff, ran screaming from the disorder. See our reporting on that story here:
AI is Running the Government (And It’s Doing It Badly)
DOGE’s signature “innovation” is using AI to scan millions of federal documents and delete anything that seems "woke" or wasteful.
The problem?
AI doesn’t understand nuance. It just sees words and executes orders.
A Pennsylvania school transition program—helping students move from high school to jobs—was cut because the AI flagged "transition" as a transgender-related term.
The Enola Gay WWII exhibit was erased because the AI saw "gay" and assumed it was DEI-related.
The National Science Foundation flagged research grants with words like “women” or “disability,” leading to defunded projects utterly unrelated to social issues.
Government disaster relief programs were shut down because they contained the word “climate.”
No one reviewed these cuts before they happened. The AI flagged them, and the government just hit “delete.”
If Tesla used AI like this, their self-driving cars would launch off bridges. Oh wait….
Musk knows better.
He’s spent years working with AI at Tesla and xAI. He knows AI can’t handle complex decision-making alone.
And yet, here we are, watching government programs get deleted by a glitchy algorithm with zero oversight.
And now, with the White House expanding its list of banned words, DOGE’s AI purge is about to get even worse. If “transition” got a workforce program cut, what happens when “woman,” “disabled,” or “elderly” get flagged next? How much of the government disappears before someone actually checks what’s being deleted?
DOGE’s Flip-Flopping: “You’re Fired. No, Wait, Come Back.”
DOGE isn’t just reckless—it’s totally inconsistent.
One day, they’re cutting an agency.
The next, they’re scrambling to rehire the people they just fired.
Musk fired thousands of federal workers, only for agencies to start quietly rehiring them because the government was failing. Or the administration begged them to come back to the toxic work environment they’d created. (Don’t flag me, DOGE! Not that kind of environment!)
Marko Elez resigned over racist social media posts, only to be welcomed back later. Word is he will be back behind his laptop with the brony stickers any day now.
DOGE brags about “cost savings,” only for watchdogs to reveal their “Wall of Receipts” is a web of lies.
This is not how competent organizations operate.
This is a government improv show.
Imagine if Amazon randomly fired half its warehouse workers and called them a week later to beg them to come back because orders weren’t getting filled.
That’s DOGE’s version of government efficiency.
The Transgenic Mice Debacle: When You Don’t Even Google First
If there’s one moment perfectly capturing DOGE’s complete failure to do due diligence, it’s the transgenic mice scandal.
During his recent Joint Session address to Congress, Trump ranted about the government spending money on "making mice transgender.”
The problem?
The research he was referencing had nothing to do with gender identity.
It was about transgenic mice—genetically modified mice used in medical research. Because it seems someone (AI) saw the prefix “trans-” and panicked, and everyone assumed taxpayer money was being spent on transgender rodent surgery.
Anyone with basic reading comprehension would have Googled the term before making a fool of themselves.
But DOGE is not built on reading comprehension. And Trump? Well….
And while some studies did focus on the impact of hormones on various diseases, and two may have addressed actual gender dysphoria, most had nothing to do with woke ideology.
DOGE’s Budget: Cutting Government While Spending Like Crazy
DOGE’s entire mission is supposedly cutting wasteful government spending.
So why has DOGE’s budget exploded from nothing to $40 million in mere weeks?
February 4, 2025 – DOGE was given $6.75 million, nearly double the White House’s annual salaries and expenses budget.
February 12, 2025 – DOGE’s budget more than doubled to $14.4 million.
February 20, 2025 – DOGE’s budget skyrocketed to $40 million.
Where is this money going?
Not to savings since DOGE’s reported “cost-cutting” numbers have already been exposed as almost fake.
Not to actual governance since DOGE’s only function seems to be running AI searches and purging agencies without oversight.
Not to taxpayers since the people running DOGE were supposedly “volunteers” but are reportedly making six-figure salaries.
How is this "efficiency" when DOGE itself is bleeding money at record speed?
The truth? It was never about efficiency.
DOGE is just another bloated, unaccountable Musk experiment.
And like every other failed Musk venture, taxpayers are the ones left footing the bill.
As we’ve reported before, DOGE was never going to work. Even Trump’s two brain cells should have seen the problem. But if chaos was always the point…. well, that’s the obvious conclusion. Read more here:
Final Thoughts: Welcome to the Government Improv Show
At this point, DOGE isn’t a government agency—it’s a $40 million improv show.
🎭So welcome to DOGE: The Bureaucratic Edition of Whose Line Is It Anyway?🎭
Where the firings are random, the savings are imaginary, and AI is making all the decisions!
If this were just a comedy sketch, it would be hilarious.
But this is real life. And instead of a game, the stakes are veterans’ healthcare, disaster relief, and public safety.
On Whose Line, the points don’t matter.
At DOGE, the truth doesn’t either.
And we’re all stuck paying for the joke.
Want a deeper dive into the DOGE debacle? The Coffman Chronicle shares your fascination! See our extensive archive of coverage.
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Bibliography:
Politico. DOGE workers using federal office space as living quarters, IKEA furniture included. March 6, 2025. https://www.politico.com/news/2025/03/06/doge-federal-office-bedrooms-00216863
Yahoo News. DOGE workers using four rooms in a federal building as makeshift dorms. March 6, 2025. https://www.yahoo.com/news/doge-workers-using-four-rooms-174852927.html
Wired. DOGE staff salaries revealed: Some earning six figures despite “volunteer” claims. March 5, 2025. https://www.wired.com/story/doge-government-salaries-elon-musk/
Wikipedia. Department of Government Efficiency budget allocations and increases. Updated March 2025. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Department_of_Government_Efficiency
Chalkbeat. DOGE education cuts hit students with disabilities, literacy research. February 26, 2025. https://www.chalkbeat.org/2025/02/26/trump-doge-cuts-to-education-research-hit-classrooms-and-students/
Reuters. FDA staffers told that 'woman,' 'disabled' among banned words; White House says it's an error. February 20, 2025. https://www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/fda-staffers-told-that-woman-disabled-among-banned-words-white-house-says-its-an-2025-02-20/
Science. New NIH grant terminations target transgender studies—even in mice. March 6, 2025. https://www.science.org/content/article/new-nih-grant-terminations-target-transgender-studies-even-mice
Reddit. Has anybody been able to find any background/context on this?. March 1, 2025. https://www.reddit.com/r/disability/comments/1irpruj/has_anybody_been_able_to_find_any/
Facebook. In a recent incident, 91 disabled students in a Pennsylvania school district were abruptly removed from a support program designed to assist.... March 1, 2025. https://m.facebook.com/voteinorout/photos/in-a-recent-incident-91-disabled-students-in-a-pennsylvania-school-district-were/1224826019645569/
National Center for Biotechnology Information (NCBI). A neuroscientist's guide to transgenic mice and other.... April 2024. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8049509