ICYMI: America’s House is Still on Fire, and Trump’s Holding the Matches
Six new reasons to scream into a pillow or vote like your life depends on it (because it does).
Welcome back to the dystopian improv show we used to call a democracy. This week, President Trump (yeah, that’s still real) insists he’s not making an enemies list — while very much making one. The DOJ is now a MAGA staffing agency, Jim Jordan continues to be an empty hoodie with subpoena power, and we had yet another mass shooting in a government building, just to keep things extra American. Oh, and Marc Maron lit up Saudi Arabia like it owed him rent.
Let’s take a brisk walk through the weekly wreckage, shall we?
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“There Is No List”—Says Guy Holding a Pen and Clipboard
Trump swears there’s no enemies list, right before implying consequences for anyone who doesn’t fall in line. It’s like watching Nixon cosplay with a reality TV script. The man can’t help but scream “authoritarian,” even when he’s whispering it.
Trump Denies “Enemies List,” Then Hints at One Anyway
Loyalty Over Law: Trump’s DOJ Hire is MAGA to the Bone
CBS reports that Trump’s Justice Department just parachuted in a new U.S. Attorney — handpicked for being “Trump-trustworthy,” not, you know, experienced or ethical. Justice is blind, but apparently now it’s also groveling.
CBS Reports: Trump Picks New US Attorney
Justice Delayed, Justice... Convenient?
The DOJ finally moves on Comey. Timing this suspicious smells like retaliation wrapped in red tape. If you blink, you might miss the fact that this isn’t justice — it’s retribution with a government seal.
BREAKING: DOJ Moves on Comey After Trump Installs Personal Attorney
Trump then placed one of his own personal attorneys in the role — the very office now weighing an indictment against Comey for allegedly lying to Congress.
Marc Maron Roasts Oil Money with Extra Char
Maron goes scorched earth on Saudi Arabia’s sportswashing empire, dragging LIV Golf and their American enablers straight to hell — with a side of punchlines and moral clarity. Spoiler: he’s not wrong.
Marc Maron Goes Nuclear on Saudi Arabia
Marc Maron Torches Saudi Arabia’s Comedy Festival: “From the Folks That Brought You 9/11”
Marc Maron doesn’t mince words. On a recent video, he tore into news of the Riyadh Comedy Festival — a two-week event in Saudi Arabia boasting names like Dave Chappelle, Kevin Hart, Bill Burr, and more.
Jim Jordan Pretends to Have a Spine
Trump throws shade; Jordan barely blinks. The Speaker-in-waiting (?) continues his lifelong commitment to doing absolutely nothing useful, even when the threats come from inside the cult.
Jim Jordan Shrugs Off Trump’s Threats
Gunfire at ICE Facility: America’s Ugly Symptom Gets Louder
An active shooter at a Dallas ICE building — because the convergence of guns, cages, and government control always ends well. Just another day in the “greatest country” on earth.
Active Shooter at Dallas ICE Facility
And that’s your dose of democracy in the ICU.
While Trump fingerpaints fascism on the Resolute Desk and Congress plays hot potato with their spines, the rest of us are just trying not to get steamrolled by whatever the hell this is. Keep your rage focused, your satire sharp, and your hope stashed somewhere safe — you’re gonna need it.
Catch you next week, if the nukes don’t fly or the news doesn’t implode first.
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