ICYMI: Five Stories You Probably Missed

(Because You Were Too Busy Screaming into a Nap Dress)

The last two and a half weeks were a buffet of late-stage imperial absurdity: AI popes, drone warfare disguised as “efficiency,” press crackdowns that Nixon would’ve blushed at, and a military budget big enough to buy Greenland and still have change for a parade. Somewhere between Elon Musk founding his own zip code and Trump cosplaying as a Jedi Sith P…