Snarkitorial: A Country Called “Checks and Balances” (Some Restrictions Apply)

Tariffs, Tantrums, and Travel Pillows: How Congress Gave Up, Trump Sped Up, and SCOTUS Put the Gas Pedal on the Floor

Welcome, fellow plebs, to this very special snarkitorial, in which we simply cannot tell this story straight, so we have instead dug deep into our sarcasm vaults to deliver this scathing report on recent events.

Is it mature? No. But then, are we journalists? Also no. Is our medication wearing off? Oh definitely. Do WGAF? Clearly not.

So strap in, grab a stiff drink, and revel in the delight that is the Snarkitorial: Tariff Edition.

Because democracy doesn’t defend itself, and neither does your sanity. Subscribe here to keep your eyes open and your sarcasm sharp.

Let’s take a journey back to March 11, 2025, the moment the United States House of Representatives looked at its Constitutionally mandated power to regulate tariffs, sighed deeply, and said, “Nah.” With a razor-thin 216–214 vote, the House GOP blocked itself from challenging Trump’s sweeping new tariffs for the rest of the year. That’s right: Congress self-canceled its ability to, you know, be Congress.

Why? Because the President had declared a national economic emergency and started slapping tariffs on foreign goods like Oprah giving away cars, and the House figured if a billionaire-turned-president wants to cosplay as Minister of Trade, who are they to intervene? It was the first recorded case of a coequal branch of government saying, “You got this, bro.” Spoiler: He did not got this.

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Meanwhile in the Senate: A Very Special Episode of Law & Order (Symbolism Unit)

Fast-forward to late October. In a rare moment of bipartisan spine, the Senate passed several resolutions to repeal Trump’s tariffs, calling them unconstitutional, economically damaging, and “kind of a dick move” (that last bit might have been editorialized). But of course, the House isn’t taking up any such resolutions — per their own rules — and even if they did, Trump would veto faster than you can say “imported steel.”

So yes, the Senate stood up for democracy, but only after the House had burned the rulebook and told democracy it was busy that day. Think of it like yelling “Stop!” at a moving train from a platform labeled “Strongly Worded Letter.”

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The Supreme Court: From Umpire to Enabler in One Immunity Ruling Flat

Enter the Supreme Court, which — in its landmark July 2024 Trump v. United States decision — ruled that a president has absolute immunity for “core official acts” and presumptive immunity for everything that looks like one. You know, minor things like rigging elections, ordering assassinations, or imposing international tariffs unilaterally under the guise of a “national emergency.”

Thanks to SCOTUS, Trump’s decision to use the International Emergency Economic Powers Act to justify his sweeping tariff regime suddenly had a nicer ring. When the Court told presidents, “Go ahead, you’re probably immune from prosecution anyway,” the executive branch didn’t waste time testing the boundaries. Congress was already asleep at the wheel. Now the judiciary had buckled Trump into a booster seat and handed him the steering wheel.

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Don Snorleon Declines to Appear (Again)

Which brings us to this week. The Supreme Court of the United States is hearing oral arguments in Learning Resources v. Trump, the case that could either restore congressional control over tariffs or enshrine the presidency’s right to declare emergencies every time Dow futures dip. Rumors swirled that Trump — ever the showman — might attend. Imagine the scene: him leaning back in the marble pews, adjusting his “Executive Privilege” neck pillow, and nodding off during constitutional analysis of his own power.

Fortunately for dignity everywhere, he backed out, probably worried about another viral “Don Snorleon” moment, like the one at the Pope’s funeral. Or perhaps when someone explained to him that “oral arguments” is not an adult theatre show, he decided to skip out. Either way, the optics of him scowling at the Supremes would not have strengthened his claim that he’s not intimidating the judiciary.

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America, We’ve Entered the Improvised Constitution Era

Here’s where we are: Congress handed Trump its constitutional keys. The Senate tried to take a victory lap in a race it can’t finish. The Supreme Court handed the presidency a shiny new shield called “immunity,” then stepped back to watch the sparks fly. And Trump? He didn’t even bother showing up for the climax, because why would he, when the other branches have already declared him above the law and beyond the rulebook?

And we’re already paying for it. Tariffs that were supposed to punish China are hitting Americans at checkout lines, construction sites, and medical clinics. Produce is pricier. Hospitals are backlogged due to supply costs. Small manufacturers are laying people off because “national emergency tariffs” just doubled the price of raw materials. These aren’t future warnings. They’re live-streaming in the economic data and family budgets right now.

This isn’t a red-blue fight anymore. It’s up vs. down, power concentrated at the top, while the bill gets mailed to the rest of us. And unless Congress wakes up from its self-imposed coma, this is the new normal: a government where the president declares an emergency, SCOTUS shrugs, and the public pays the price in silence.

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Source: Yes, even in this cursed timeline

• “U.S. House prevents challenges to Trump’s tariffs this year” — Reuters, March 11, 2025.

• “House Republicans block Congress’ ability to challenge Trump tariffs” — Voice of America, March 11, 2025.

• “Senate votes to quash Trump’s ‘Liberation Day’ global tariffs” — The Washington Post, October 30, 2025.

• “Fact Check: Yes, the US Senate voted to overturn Trump’s tariffs on Canada” — Snopes via yahoo.com, October 30, 2025.

• “Senate approves 3 resolutions to limit President’s tariff authority” — National Association of Home Builders, October 30, 2025.

• “Justices rule Trump has some immunity from prosecution” — SCOTUSblog, July 1, 2024.

• “Supreme Court rules Trump has broad immunity for official acts” — Reuters, July 1, 2024.

• “What lies ahead for tariffs on ‘Liberation Day’?” — Reuters, March 28, 2025.