Snarkitorial: Elon Checks Out, Trump Goes Full Telenovela, and the GOP Renames Reality

Welcome back to America: the theme park where every ride's broken, the mascots are on ketamine, and the fireworks are just infrastructure fires.

This week was less “news cycle” and more deranged fever dream sponsored by gold leaf, ketamine, and authoritarian cosplay. Trump turned the Oval Office into a Versailles-themed parole board, Musk babbled like a tech cultist on molly, and the GOP brainstormed policy ideas that sound like rejected death metal lyrics. Meanwhile, convicted felons lined up f…