Snarkitorial: It’s Budget Blitz Month... Again
In which Congress kinda tries, and predictably fails, yet again, to fund the government
As the frigid wind blows through Washington, D.C., the dust has just settled on the last extended shutdown. Naturally, that means it’s Budget Blitz Month, baby!
Yes, it feels like we just did this a few months ago. That’s because, well, we did.
Predictably, the timeline is tight, the odds of success are nonexistent, and the results — if you can call them that — will be entirely unsatisfying. But fear not. Congress will have another shot at this in just a few months, depending on how long the inevitable shutdown lasts. Ah, governance!
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A Quarter Done (Sort Of)
Technically, lawmakers are sort of ahead of the curve this time. On January 5, a modest three-bill “minibus” package was released covering Commerce, Justice, Science, Energy and Water, and Interior and Environment.
That’s three out of twelve required appropriations bills, a quarter of the job done, if you’re feeling generous.
But don’t get too excited. Even these low-conflict bills still need to survive committee review, possible amendment battles, and full floor votes in both the House and Senate before January 30, when the current continuing resolution (CR) expires. That gives Congress just a few legislative days to fund the rest of the government. Again.
The Easy Part Is Over
These three bills are the easiest ones, the agencies that generally don’t attract ideological attention or partisan theatrics. No one’s launching their re-election campaign on a funding fight over the Department of the Interior. These are the sections of the budget that usually get glossed over by staffers, and few read unless they are stuck on a particularly long layover in an empty, closed airport or have a severe episode of Montezuma’s revenge with just the budget bill for entertainment.
The real trouble lies ahead. There are still nine appropriations bills left untouched, including Defense, Homeland Security, Labor-HHS-Education, and others. These are the bills that spark real political conflict, the ones that draw the riders, the floor fights, the soundbites, and the stalemates.
They’re also the ones least likely to be written, debated, passed, and signed into law in under three weeks.
The Script Writes Itself
Let’s be honest. If Congress were capable of planning ahead, budgeting early, and working collaboratively, we wouldn’t be here.
Instead, the process goes like this: The House loads its appropriations bills with ideological riders, knowing full well they won’t survive in the Senate. Some of these riders are so off-the-wall they might as well be labeled “for media use only.”
The Senate — bound by the Byrd Rule and functioning on at least a base level of procedural logic — strips out anything that isn’t budget-relevant. The bills bounce back to the House, where now they’re “unacceptable,” and the finger-pointing begins.
Seriously, what are they doing with their time? Not passing timely budgets, obviously. Not preemptively addressing expiring continuing resolutions. And, interestingly, not really passing laws either.
See our previous reporting here:
Countdown to Shutdown
Suddenly, the same members who stalled for months and buried clean bills under political theater are now urgently demanding compromise, except no one actually moves. And why would they? They’ll get paid. Other federal workers, however? Eh, best not to think about that.
We’ll get the usual cable news hits, the performative outrage, and the desperate floor speeches. What we don’t get? A budget.
As a result, predictably, the government shuts down… again. Services stall. Federal employees get furloughed. Families wait for checks. The crisis becomes real, and only then does Congress admit that, yes, something should probably be done. Maybe there’s a strongly written letter or two, perhaps a few tone-deaf yet weirdly performative press conferences. Fingers point. Hands ring.
Eventually, someone caves. A new CR is passed, usually worse than what was on the table weeks before. It kicks the can down the road for 30, 60, maybe 90 days. And when the time runs out again, the cycle begins anew.
It is nothing if not predictable. It certainly isn’t efficient.
Budgeting by Panic Button
This isn’t an accident. This is a pattern baked into the way Congress functions now. There is no built-in urgency to budget early, no consequences for treating the deadline as a mere suggestion, and no accountability when the entire process collapses.
Budgeting should be boring. It should be based on factors like inflation adjustments, program performance, and audit results, not on whose campaign is polling best or who needs to boost their cable news profile.
And yet. Here we are. Like demonic clockwork, the “process” goes on.
Same Cycle, New Year
Will Congress pass all twelve appropriations bills before January 30? No.
Will they move fast enough to finalize even the three they’ve already drafted? Also unlikely.
The best-case scenario is another CR. The worst case? A shutdown, a public backlash, and a half-baked solution passed in exhaustion.
In a few months, we will do it all over again, just to limp to the end of the fiscal.
And in August, when it’s time to draft next year’s budget ahead of the October 1 fiscal start, we’ll do this all over again.
Bold decision with a narrow majority in both chambers and the Presidency, and the midterms this fall. If the GOP were capable of or even mildly interested in governing, Mike Johnson would lock everyone into their committee rooms, give them 48 hours to hammer out a budget, and then group them for a one-day per minibus floor vote before passing the buck to the Senate. No riders. No ideological games. Just cold, hard, predictable numbers.
He won’t. MAGA will insert ridiculous riders. The GOP will fight amongst themselves. If the House manages to pass anything, the Senate Parliamentarian will strip most of it out. And if, by some miracle, it passes the Senate, it will go back to the House for a tail-between-their-legs vote, late, unsatisfactory, and completely inept.
The only real questions are how long the shutdown will last and whether voters will remember in November.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for listening to our rant. Some stories require epic-level snark because, honestly, how many times can we describe this dysfunction before we all need a padded room?
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A law or constitutional amendment must be enacted that prohibits any Federal Law makers including Supreme Court Justices and the Executive Branch to receive their paychecks if the Budget bill is not passed on time every time !
It's exhausting. It's an ongoing debt growing system that no one respects anymore. As far as I can recall, we haven't had a balanced budget since Clinton and CR'S don't solve the problems.