Sunday Funnies... on a Thursday (Part II)

We regret to inform you that the serotonin is not tonin and the dopamine is not minin.

The headlines continued. Our capacity to process them did not.

Once again, we have outsourced journalism to people with ink, sarcasm, and considerably more artistic talent and better meds than we possess.

CSI: Barnyard

After years of investigations, lawsuits, audits, recounts, and conspiracy theories, we’re apparently still determined to prove that if you dig long enough, you’ll eventually strike... something? Unfortunately, it isn’t evidence.

The King’s Gambit

It’s impressive, really. Every time one story refuses to go away, another shiny object appears with the timing of a magician yelling, “Don’t look over there.”

Ghost Story

Eventually, a claim repeated often enough stops sounding persuasive and starts sounding like the ghost haunting the old mansion. Loud? Sure. Credible? Less so.

Cabinet Meeting

Some administrations rely on policy experts. Others appear to prefer imaginary villains that poll well. It’s amazing how many meetings can be held without ever inviting reality.

Monster Check

Every generation gets told there’s a monster hiding under the bed. The trick is recognizing when someone keeps pointing under the mattress because they don’t want you looking in the closet.

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We’re going to go refill the coffee and see if the news has calmed down. We are not optimistic. If necessary, we’ll return to our blanket cocoon, double up the drugs, and dopamine-mine the internet for cat videos. It beats our current reality of rocking in a near catatonic state, mumbling to ourselves about common sense, reality, and proof.