Some weeks the news requires analysis. Some weeks it requires a stiff drink, a long stare into the middle distance, and professionals with ink pens. We have, once again, reached the latter.

Get cozy, grab your beverage of choice, and prepare yourself for this edition of The Sunday Funnies!

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Arc de Ego

The French had Napoleon. We have a Sharpie and absolutely no one willing to say, “Maybe not.” Gentle parenting is not working.

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From Russia With Love

“Useful idiot” increasingly feels less like an insult and more like a federal job classification. The Kremlin’s loyalty program must have spectacular rewards.

The Trump Show: Property of Trump

King Midas merely turned everything he touched to gold. Amateur.

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The Hunger Games

Remember when “What’s for dinner?” wasn’t a threat assessment? Meal planning has become less Bon Appétit and more Choose Your Own Adventure: Gastrointestinal Edition.

Never Forget. Terms and Conditions Apply.

We remembered the date. The lesson apparently had a shorter shelf life. Nothing honors the mistakes of the past quite like giving them a sequel.

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And there we have it: another week in which satire arrived for work, discovered reality had already stolen its desk, and quietly updated its résumé.

See you next Sunday, assuming we spring ourselves from the super comfy hug shirt and oh-so-soft-walled room that staying informed currently inevitably leads to. Until then, treat yourself, baby! You’ve earned it for surviving another week in whatever this is.

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Sunday Funnies: The Timeline Persists