Sunday Funnies: We Couldn't Improve On The News
So we let the internet take the wheel.
SUNDAY FUNNIES
Another week in American politics, another week where reality filed a restraining order against satire.
The news cycle is now moving so fast that fact-checkers need pit crews, campaign promises have the shelf life of gas station sushi, and every day feels like a season finale written by people who hate the audience.
So tonight we’re taking the easy route.
The memes have the floor.
THE DAY ONE PRESIDENT ENTERS DAY 470
Living rent-free in his tiny brain? Or just very, very obsessed? You be the judge. At this rate, Biden is going to get blamed for the sinking of the Titanic, New Coke, and whatever tariff bill arrives next month.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, STATUS PENDING
The campaign promises are currently being stored in the same warehouse as the Mexican-funded wall and Trump’s healthcare plan. Don’t worry. He promises it will all be revealed in two weeks!
THE WORLD'S MOST EXPENSIVE INFOMERCIAL
If fearmongering burned calories, half the country would qualify for the Olympics.
CULT MEMBERSHIP HAS ITS PRIVILEGES
That’s not a political opinion. That’s a sales forecast.
ONE DOWN, ONE SUBPOENA TO GO
The people who spent years demanding that every Epstein file be released suddenly discovered the beauty of privacy rights. Funny how that works.
MAKING AMERICA TACKY AGAIN
Every historic landmark eventually meets the same fate: getting renovated by someone whose design inspiration is a failing casino lobby. Even psychic vampires hate reflections.
LEGAL TENDER FOR GRIFT
Historians spent centuries debating who belongs on American currency. The merch team solved it in an afternoon. The only bill in America backed entirely by undeserved ego and unsecured debt, now with the most appropriate image currently available to us. IYKYK
That’s it for this week’s Sunday Funnies.
We’ll be back next week unless the economy gets renamed after a donor, a cabinet secretary accidentally texts war plans into a fantasy football league, Congress subpoenas itself, or someone proposes putting a president on a denomination that doesn’t actually exist.
Given recent trends, none of those possibilities feels particularly far-fetched.
See you next Sunday.
I really enjoy the Sunday Funnies. You can never have enough fun before another week of terror brought to you by donnie dementia.
From my perspective, the ENTIRE Republican party would rather live under dictatorship than democracy. Since dictatorship is the lazy way out, I have to believe that Republicans are just naturally lazy.